I want to know, what’s the point of having a BLOG if you don’t update it?

I want to know, what’s the point of having a BLOG if you don’t update it?

Ok I was supposed to post this last year but I have been really busy but guess what? You will get a few posts from me this week. I know lucky you!! Erica reminded me that I needed to post and a few days later ( a week actually) I decided to do so. So like I said you’ll get a plethora of posts this week.

Now when I last left off I said I was going to post my longest quest and how it ended. First a little back story (oh and by the way this blog has pictures!!!!!!! And exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

The year was 1987. My oldest sister was living in Clarksville Tennessee / Fort Campbell Kentucky. We went to visit every once in a while. At this time we were visiting and my first nephew was like just born and we watched movies a lot. There is a funny story about Tennessee but I’ll digress for now maybe later ( it involves space).

Well anyway there was this one movie anthology we watched that was about fairytales. Now overall the movie was forgettable except the very last story. I remembered it being about Goldilocks and the 3 bears but the bears were people and Goldilocks was a psycho. After the movie was over the only thing I could remember was Goldilocks. A year later I wanted to watch it again, but to no avail. My sister didn’t have it anymore and didn’t remember the name. I vowed to see it again.

I spent the next four years talking about the movie and trying to explain it to people a video stores, but they never heard of it. We got cable for Christmas that year and it came with HBO. Well one day there was this movie on called Grim Prairie Tales and it’s tagline was “Hit the trail…to TERROR” I knew this was the movie. Problem was the movie came on at 330 in the morning and I was 11. So I tried to find a way to sneak up and watch it without waking my mom. I failed. So I waited until it came on again. A few months later it was on CINEMAX which we didn’t have so I cried. A few months after that, like in July, it was on HBO again. I was happy. It was summer so I could stay up late. I got ready to watch it days in advance. I was a day away from watching it, a day away from ending my long (for my time I mean five years was almost half my life) search. Then it happened. We fell behind in our bill and our cable was turned off.

I was shattered once again. I missed the movie. The day after it came on my dad came over and showed us how to get cable by just hooking up the antenna to the back of the TV instead if the cable box ( a practice that the cable company has caught onto and since has blocked people from doing usually). So I had another opportunity and luck be with me it was on again that night ( I checked prevue guide this was before it became the tv guide channel….damn I’m old) So I got ready and sat down and turned to where HBO usually is and it was blocked. I called my dad and asked how to unblock it and he said “I don’t think you can with this method, which is not stealing cable and is totally legal.” So I missed it again.

But I was armed with knowledge and as AJ’s Time Travelers said “Knowledge is Power” (once again I feel really old) I went to Double Vision, one of the video stores that we went to when we were younger and tried to check out a video. They didn’t have it. So I went to the other video store about 10 blocks away from Double vision and they had it so my sister rented it for me. ( she had moved back to Cleveland at that time. Which reminds me of another story that involves my sister and Labyrinth) . So we got home and I was super excited. I went to put it in and the VCR was dirty. So I had to take the VCR apart and get alcohol on the heads to clean it (this was a method we used because 1) we didn’t want to pay for a tape head cleaner and 2) It worked a lot better than the head cleaners and was a lot faster than they were when you had to take it out without rewinding it. ) If you want specifics I might make a post of how exactly to do it. So I put the tape in and passed out because it was so incredibly boring and not the movie I thought it was.

I decided then that I would check out every anthology about fairytales until I found it. I couldn’t find it anywhere no matter how hard I tried. Every movie I watched proved to be something different. I saw trilogy of terror (Zuni fetish doll), cats eye (I’ll be watching you), Tales from the Darkside( A promise is a promise) , the original Tales From the Crypt ( barely remember), Creepshow ( Where’s my cake Bedillia), Creepshow 2 (Thanks for the ride lady) , campfire tales ( don’t look outside), campfire stories (umm don’t look outside), ghost tales, quicksilver highway (chattery teeth), body bags, 2 Evil Eyes ( black cat), Twilight Zone ( You wanna see something really scary?) and a plethora more. Some where good some sucked but none were what I wanted (coincidentally this lead to my love of bad movies) I thought I saw it on one of those 50 + horror movie thingies they sell but I didn’t want to pay money for that and have it not be what I wanted.

Cut to 2007. 20 years after I first gazed upon this movie I enrolled in blockbuster online. I was just searching through random movies to add to my queue. I clicked on campfire stories to see if I would enjoy it since I was older and then came across DEADTIME STORIES. I clicked on it and my heart sung a chorus. It was about some guy and stuff but I saw what I needed to see “Goldilocks and the 3 Baers” It had to be it. But then I had a flashback to the last time I thought I found it.

We wound up getting cable again in 1996. We had all the movie channels and all that good stuff. Well on Cinemax one night they had something playing that was an anthology picture, so I stayed up and watched it. ( It was easier for me to do this because the tv was in the living room at this house and my mom’s room was upstairs and mine was right next to the living room.) Well the first story was “Goldilocks and the 3 Bares”. Long story short it was Cinemax at night and I was 15 so I didn’t know what that meant until that night. But after it was off I watched the Seduction of Maria about this girl who was raised a slave by her Spanish people and who had to sleep with random people. It had a great plot from what I remember. Hmm, a new movie for my queue, for research reasons.

Well anyway I added it to my queue (Deadtime stories not Maria) and looked it up on imdb and google. Everything pointed to this being the movie. And in October it arrived. I was nervous. I had got myself so wound up about this movie. What if it wasn’t the one? I put it in and fell asleep. It started off SLOW. So I tried again the next day and just fast forwarded through but got bored. So I held onto it for 2 months until I had time to watch it and finally I watched it in DECEMBER.

Why did I wait so long? Well because the best non quest thing to happen to me happened in October. Madison was born and I liked spending time with her as she cried and cried and cried and so I barely had time to watch movies after I played with her. I mean look at her she is crazy adorable. So I had to put Deadtime stories on hold, and I was fine with that.

Well during winter break I had a chance to finally watch the movie and low and behold it was it. 20 years, that’s more than 75 percent of my life, was spent looking for this movie and I found it. Which, it turns out, was indeed on that anthology of 50 + movies. So was it worth it? Did I waste my 20 years. Well I plan on putting up a review of the movie with pictures. Yeah boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Until then I’ll leave you with this thought “Don’t go looking for trouble because it will find you. But if you do go looking for it make sure you can handle it.”

Perkins OUT