I promise I will never do it again....Oh s**t I lied

Okay so i said I'd write a ton of stuff two months ago. Hey I've been busy so sue me. Besides I am probably the only one who reads this blog anyway. I've posted and sent emails reminding people about it but I get no comments so it's more like me just writing stuff so it's not stuck in my head for my own goodness.

Yea so ?

I really will start writing more when the summer comes. I'll have more time and more inclination to do so. Track is wearing me thin. House hunting is earing me thin. Trying to lose weight is wearing me thin. Keeping up with tv shows is hard to do. And I am losing patience a lot faster.

Sleep apnea test in two weeks. Not scared just anxious. Don't want to sleep with a mask on. But as I get closer to it I start to notice more and more symptoms . I'm cranky for no reason, I randomly fall asleep if i'm not doing anything, I snore loudly, I am excessively tired in the morning, I can't get out of bed.

So in closing maybe I'll write again maybe I won't who knows but when summer comes I will return

Perkins out

I want to know, what’s the point of having a BLOG if you don’t update it?

I want to know, what’s the point of having a BLOG if you don’t update it?

Ok I was supposed to post this last year but I have been really busy but guess what? You will get a few posts from me this week. I know lucky you!! Erica reminded me that I needed to post and a few days later ( a week actually) I decided to do so. So like I said you’ll get a plethora of posts this week.

Now when I last left off I said I was going to post my longest quest and how it ended. First a little back story (oh and by the way this blog has pictures!!!!!!! And exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

The year was 1987. My oldest sister was living in Clarksville Tennessee / Fort Campbell Kentucky. We went to visit every once in a while. At this time we were visiting and my first nephew was like just born and we watched movies a lot. There is a funny story about Tennessee but I’ll digress for now maybe later ( it involves space).

Well anyway there was this one movie anthology we watched that was about fairytales. Now overall the movie was forgettable except the very last story. I remembered it being about Goldilocks and the 3 bears but the bears were people and Goldilocks was a psycho. After the movie was over the only thing I could remember was Goldilocks. A year later I wanted to watch it again, but to no avail. My sister didn’t have it anymore and didn’t remember the name. I vowed to see it again.

I spent the next four years talking about the movie and trying to explain it to people a video stores, but they never heard of it. We got cable for Christmas that year and it came with HBO. Well one day there was this movie on called Grim Prairie Tales and it’s tagline was “Hit the trail…to TERROR” I knew this was the movie. Problem was the movie came on at 330 in the morning and I was 11. So I tried to find a way to sneak up and watch it without waking my mom. I failed. So I waited until it came on again. A few months later it was on CINEMAX which we didn’t have so I cried. A few months after that, like in July, it was on HBO again. I was happy. It was summer so I could stay up late. I got ready to watch it days in advance. I was a day away from watching it, a day away from ending my long (for my time I mean five years was almost half my life) search. Then it happened. We fell behind in our bill and our cable was turned off.

I was shattered once again. I missed the movie. The day after it came on my dad came over and showed us how to get cable by just hooking up the antenna to the back of the TV instead if the cable box ( a practice that the cable company has caught onto and since has blocked people from doing usually). So I had another opportunity and luck be with me it was on again that night ( I checked prevue guide this was before it became the tv guide channel….damn I’m old) So I got ready and sat down and turned to where HBO usually is and it was blocked. I called my dad and asked how to unblock it and he said “I don’t think you can with this method, which is not stealing cable and is totally legal.” So I missed it again.

But I was armed with knowledge and as AJ’s Time Travelers said “Knowledge is Power” (once again I feel really old) I went to Double Vision, one of the video stores that we went to when we were younger and tried to check out a video. They didn’t have it. So I went to the other video store about 10 blocks away from Double vision and they had it so my sister rented it for me. ( she had moved back to Cleveland at that time. Which reminds me of another story that involves my sister and Labyrinth) . So we got home and I was super excited. I went to put it in and the VCR was dirty. So I had to take the VCR apart and get alcohol on the heads to clean it (this was a method we used because 1) we didn’t want to pay for a tape head cleaner and 2) It worked a lot better than the head cleaners and was a lot faster than they were when you had to take it out without rewinding it. ) If you want specifics I might make a post of how exactly to do it. So I put the tape in and passed out because it was so incredibly boring and not the movie I thought it was.

I decided then that I would check out every anthology about fairytales until I found it. I couldn’t find it anywhere no matter how hard I tried. Every movie I watched proved to be something different. I saw trilogy of terror (Zuni fetish doll), cats eye (I’ll be watching you), Tales from the Darkside( A promise is a promise) , the original Tales From the Crypt ( barely remember), Creepshow ( Where’s my cake Bedillia), Creepshow 2 (Thanks for the ride lady) , campfire tales ( don’t look outside), campfire stories (umm don’t look outside), ghost tales, quicksilver highway (chattery teeth), body bags, 2 Evil Eyes ( black cat), Twilight Zone ( You wanna see something really scary?) and a plethora more. Some where good some sucked but none were what I wanted (coincidentally this lead to my love of bad movies) I thought I saw it on one of those 50 + horror movie thingies they sell but I didn’t want to pay money for that and have it not be what I wanted.

Cut to 2007. 20 years after I first gazed upon this movie I enrolled in blockbuster online. I was just searching through random movies to add to my queue. I clicked on campfire stories to see if I would enjoy it since I was older and then came across DEADTIME STORIES. I clicked on it and my heart sung a chorus. It was about some guy and stuff but I saw what I needed to see “Goldilocks and the 3 Baers” It had to be it. But then I had a flashback to the last time I thought I found it.

We wound up getting cable again in 1996. We had all the movie channels and all that good stuff. Well on Cinemax one night they had something playing that was an anthology picture, so I stayed up and watched it. ( It was easier for me to do this because the tv was in the living room at this house and my mom’s room was upstairs and mine was right next to the living room.) Well the first story was “Goldilocks and the 3 Bares”. Long story short it was Cinemax at night and I was 15 so I didn’t know what that meant until that night. But after it was off I watched the Seduction of Maria about this girl who was raised a slave by her Spanish people and who had to sleep with random people. It had a great plot from what I remember. Hmm, a new movie for my queue, for research reasons.

Well anyway I added it to my queue (Deadtime stories not Maria) and looked it up on imdb and google. Everything pointed to this being the movie. And in October it arrived. I was nervous. I had got myself so wound up about this movie. What if it wasn’t the one? I put it in and fell asleep. It started off SLOW. So I tried again the next day and just fast forwarded through but got bored. So I held onto it for 2 months until I had time to watch it and finally I watched it in DECEMBER.

Why did I wait so long? Well because the best non quest thing to happen to me happened in October. Madison was born and I liked spending time with her as she cried and cried and cried and so I barely had time to watch movies after I played with her. I mean look at her she is crazy adorable. So I had to put Deadtime stories on hold, and I was fine with that.

Well during winter break I had a chance to finally watch the movie and low and behold it was it. 20 years, that’s more than 75 percent of my life, was spent looking for this movie and I found it. Which, it turns out, was indeed on that anthology of 50 + movies. So was it worth it? Did I waste my 20 years. Well I plan on putting up a review of the movie with pictures. Yeah boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Until then I’ll leave you with this thought “Don’t go looking for trouble because it will find you. But if you do go looking for it make sure you can handle it.”

Perkins OUT

It might not exist

Sorry about pulling a TNA on you yesterday (all 2 loyal readers). What do I mean? I mean promising you something and then at the end telling you you have to wait until the next installment. Wrestling humor.

Anyway I love Teen Wolf. I wanted to be teen wolf so bad when I was younger. It got to the point where I was walking around saying "Give me a keg of beer....." in my deepest voice. Well why do I bring up teen wolf? 3 reasons. 1 the cartoon was okay but the movie rocked

2 during the very end of the movie one of the extras decided to unzip his pants, just saying

3 It contained my dream car! Yes my dream car. If you were to talk to anyone who has ever asked me what my dream car was after highschool they would say 4 letters: DTSW.

Drop
Top
Station
Wagon


I wanted one so bad after watching teen Wolf. I went to the extremes and told everyone I knew
. I wrote it in on favorite car ballots and everything. Why teh obsession? well I was watching Teen Wolf one saturday afternoon with my sister when I saw the principals car. Wood panel, wagon with cloth top. DTSW!!!!

My quest has been to find one. I have been told by many people over and over again that "It might not exist." but I had my proof. I had Teen Wolf.

That was until Friday December 28 2007.

I was watching Teen Wolf and then when it got to the part with the principals car I got all excited. Then it happened. The car was not a DTSW. It was a Buick two door with wooden side panels and a soft top. Disappointment swept over me. So now I stand at a crossroad. Do I continue looking for the DTSW or do I give up. The quest for the true dream car might have ended.

tomorrow my positive quest possibly the longest one I've been on. Until then

I need to find a bettter typing program

A year of ended quests

Since every one else is doing it I might as well too. In 07....ummmm yeae I'll skip the formalities and talk ab out quests. Journeys, conquests whatever you wish to call them. In the year 07 there were a few quests that I had been on that came to an end.

But first a little background. I am always on some type of quest or have some type of project to keep myself occupied. That's it, no long background today. now onto the quests that were fulfilled....finished.

Now keep in mind these are things that I actually tried to accomplish/

Well first off my quota was ended but hey sometimes you have to do what you have to do ( and if you don't know of the quota o well)

Second I think I found a church to go to. yay me. Yay religion :)

In 07 I finally got a Wii. I had been looking for one since december of last year and it paid off in April!!!! However no weight loss yet.

I think i've given up on the quest to regain a friend. But you kn ow sometimes you eat the bear, and well sometimes, the bear, well , he eats you. Maybe next year, but I'm not holding my breath.

I think that I have made a good ground in my quest to find new friends, but we shall see if I offend them before they consider me a friend back. Or invite me out to party with them

My quest to get a smartboard? O yeah got it done, but with some baggage added on.

okay but seriously the real reason I posted this. There are 2 things that I have been looking for for what seems like eternity. Well my search for the two have ended . One positively, the other negatively. I'll put the post of each quest up tomorrow because I'm lazy and because my quest to stop procrastinating is a failure. Until then

:I've been on tons of quests, but my names not Jonny"

I figured it out... or At what point was that a good idea

I grew up watching Nickelodeon back when it was good. So I LOVE watching Nickelodeon GAS. For those unaware of what GAS is it is a station that shoes old nickelodeon game shows all day. Perfect....except for a few things. They only show a total of 7 shows. These shows are
GUTS
Legends of the hidden temple
Double Dare 2000
Get the Picture
NIck Arcade ( at 3 in the morning)
some show I can't think of
Figure it out

my issue is what about Wild and Crazy Kids? What about the REAL Double Dare? What about What would you do? (oh and I know my capitalization is wrong...sue me). They need to bring back those shows.

Well I was watching Figure it out and was kinda shocked. There was a chubby kid whose talent was that he ate 11 pounds of watermelon in one minute. Yea you read it right. So at the end he showed the host and panel how he did it and they were supposed to try it too, however they just laughed and laughed as he ate his heart out. I was sad....I felt bad for him, even if he didnt feel bad.

Also I have come to the conclusion that the panel either lets people win or they are just dumb... or just like real people they don't pay attention. Case in point. ONe panelist asked the kid if he ate less than 10 pounds of watermelon and he said no. So the next panelist asked "Did you eat seven pounds of water melon" then the next panelist asked " Did you eat 2 pounds of watermelon." See the gripe?

Yea I just wanted to gripe about GAS

Ohh and by the way Erica sat a glass of sprite on the couch...guess how that turned out.

Perkins OUT

eighth circle...period of hell or of outback and coming out

WORD LIFE this is the most offensive blog I have posted so far, but I have to post what I post if you are easily offended then go buy a taco

I hate hall duty, plain and simple. I miss the days in which I had lunch duty because then I sat in the lunch room and made sure food wasn't thrown. Those were the good ole days. Now I am back on th period hall duty, which, by the end of the year, will become 8th period class coverage, but that's another time.


WHat I'm talking about today is today's hall duty shenanigans: I'll give the quick and low down but first a little background. We had three subs in the freshman wing, and you know how I feel about subs. At the end of 6th period today a fight broke out between two students, and was it ugly. Long to short kid got destroyed, said he'd get a gun, his sister sid the same thing and then parents showed up. Well 8th period started with the ninth grade administrator talking to said parents. 1:38

1:39
The sub for my math compadre sent a student out for using profanity in class. She was escorted back into class by the administrator, however she then got into a screaming match with the sub about her language. She was sent out again. The administrator told me to take her back into the room and explain to the sub that the office was full due to the fight and the parents. I took her in, talked with the sub, and told him to write her up and it'll be dealt with later (take a shot). The girl starts mouthing off again and then her classmates tell her to simmer down. I leave.

1:45
The female English teacher in the freshman wing sends two students out. And she is spitting flames as she does it. ONe student is a kid I had during the ig waste of time that is summer bridge, the other was the kid who lied on me and got removed from my class. The admnistrator tells me to take them back. I do. The teacher then explains that she has had enough and removes the students. I send them to the main office until they are called back down, aka to be dealt with later (take a shot X 2)

1:49
I turn around after sending the last tow guys down to the office when another student of mines comes down the hall saying how she was kicked out of her social studies class. I explained the office was full and to come back later (take a shot). I turn around again and a summer bridge student who is ALWAYS in the hall is walking to her class 12 minutes after class started. I just told her to go to class, she's the least of my worries now, I'd just write her up again later (shot)

1:52
After talking with this student I see another summer bridge (big waste of time) student com,ing down the hall. He gets halfway down the hall and screams out "Faggot". I look at him like he's crazy and then around the corner comes a former student, who I believe was in summer bridgehen says to the other kid " three years ago, coming back around the corner, let's call him Vanlos Blacktop. He then says "I'm not a faggot and if I am I'm loving it." So they walk into the office and the administrator tells them to leave because she's busy with the parents. Vanlos says "I am sooo pissed" and walks out. I follow the two down the hall and ask them why they are even down in the freshman wing, Vanlos then says "And I'm not gay I get niggas and bitches.". I flipped out and informed both of them not to come down my hall again seeing as Vanlos is an 11th grader and the other kid is Special ed. I said I'd write them up later (shot)

1:55
I walk back toward the office and then I see another student whom I have in class, and in bigwaste of time, coming down the hall from spanish. I ask him what's going on but no sooner do I get those words out of my mouth then the science sub comes running out of her room screaming "I need help" I look at the spanish kid and say "head to the main office she'll see you later"( shot) and run into the science room. I see two of my students "fighting". One student takes the skinny one out, lets call him Balcolm and I take out the chubby one, call him Byron. Well Byron starts saying "All the swings and you didn't even hit me. All those swings and you didn't even hit me." So a student in the class informs him that Balcolm did in fact hit him in the head. Byron stops, thinks and then says "All those swings and you didn't even hit me." The class groans. I ask Byron to come with me and then he walks over to his desk and starts shaking Balcolm's bookbag and screaming "All those swings and you didn't even hit me" I take him out of the class. While walking him down the hall I see a former student from my first year of teaching who is the epitome of worthless in the hall. I ask him why he's here and he says "I don't go to this bitch you can't do anything to me." I call the office for the tresspasser and he walks out. We get to the office and the parents have left and now comes the part that I like to call

"The battle of the Mentally Dumb"
So Byron explains the fight to the administrator:

So we were working on our assignment in class and he called me gay. SO I threw a book at him and then tried to hit him. So we are standing across from each other over the table and we start swinging. I'm on one side of the table and he's on the other side of the table and we are swinging. So he's swinging a lot. He's doing all of this swinging and he didn't even hit me, he didn't even hit me, and then he hit me in the head a few times but he didn't even hit me with all those swings. So I hit him with two uppercuts to his gut and then he it me in the head, but he didn't even hit me. So then I grabbed his arms and said you ain't even hit me hard, then they broke us up.

I walked away from him to eat and then all of the students came back to the office, well not all only a handful. Those that showed up received three days out, except the one chick she was mistaken for someone else and got off free.

So that's the hall duty, now for something positive:

We went to Outback steakhouse tonight and it was Madison's first time in a restaurant. Nothing really happened of interest except some lady said Madison was cute and small. But I must give Erica mad props because she ate her steak AND fed Madison at the same time. That's crazy dexterity.

Until next time I'm not even writing a quote

Perk

it's people...well sort of

HUFU just look it up and then take this little test.

What was your first reaction?

Did you ask yourself why or how first?

one answer means you are normal the other means you are not normal.


I just have to say this is the creepiest idea I have ever heard of. That is all for this time.:)