End of an era

So as everyone knows, or should, Madison was born on Oct 27 at 534 in the AM. There is stuff they don't tell you about but I digress. However also I point out that with Madison's birth ( or as I like to call her Diso) my quota ends. If you don't know about the quota tuogh. So all say goodbye to the quota and say helo to diso

"I heard a rumor....

And they travel far
you k now what it's like
the way people are
they talk and they talk
but they don't understand
they whisper and whisper
and lie on demand..."
Breathe by Depeche mode
Great song. Well i'm posting a quick article that i read about how gossip at work is bad. Sad thing is I'm guilty of it, but hey what can we do? Article here

Other tidbits

My former student D Howard ran the marathon yesterday and did pretty darn good. I told him he would and I taught him everything he knows.......about algebra

Dumbledore is gay

I entered my chooseyourownadventure lesson in the smarttech contest, hope i win

well i'm off until next time

"Gossip is like a newspaper for those who can't read and take everything they hear as fact."
Some old dead dude

Perkins out

Breathe by Depeche mode

And I wanted to be a critic because....?

It's Sunday and I'm taking a break from grading the atrociousness of my tests....it's amazing how some people can get stuff wrong that should be obvious, but I digress. Today's old school writing is from my original blogish thing from when I was apart of the community. A few years back a friend of mine set up a community on msn and I would randomly write stuff once a week. I doubt that the community still exists though. Well one of the entgries was about movies that I had seen during the summer (I was working at burger king on the night shift and had a lot of time on my hands). This was in preparation for a movie review website I had planned on setting up, you can see how that went. So without further ado.....

"Blame is a beautiful thing, baby. Blame keeps this whole planet spinning. You can point your finger at the next man, you can shift the weight onto him, you don't have to carry that shit around yourself. You can slide into bed and get a good night's nap. Yeah, right."
Augustus Hill - OZ

Hello every one... you know I couldn't think of anything to even say this week. I mean I wanted to update the page but I couldn't think of anything to say so I have decided to make it a real quick list of movies that I thought just absolutely positively without a shadow of a doubt SUCK. Well along with the name of the film i will give a brief description, a notable character or occurrence, the cover description, the tagline, and who was to blame in me seeing the film. Yeah the quote above had something to do with this update, and you probably thought it was some cool nugget of information or something right? Well these films are in no particular order and you may see some reviews (longer ones) in the recommendations folder (or the coming soon Movie Review folder). Well Lock and Load....

MOVIE TITLE: GRIM

TAGLINE: This is no fairy tale

This movie is about a monster that appears in people’s houses and takes them hostage couch and all in one case. Also a team of Spelunkers decides to go explore Grim's cave for some reason. And then you know what happens people see Grim, Grim kills people final confrontation.

Interesting tidbit: This movie stars Hero Man who isn't afraid of anything and said things like "So what if it's pitch black and we lost 45 comrades I'm going in with this paper clip and this rubber band to save the cat" Well not in those words but you get the gist.

Who's to blame? This is Kral's fault mostly. At blockbuster we passed it many times but finally we broke down and rented it after he said it can’t be that bad.…

cover: A picture of Grim (the monster)

MOVIE TITLE: WES CRAVEN PRESENTS CARNIVAL OF SOULS

Tagline: Enter at your own risk

ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH. Think Jacobs ladder with a stupid story and clowns. A girl sees her mother murdered by her boyfriend, (who she decided to go out with after he found the daughter wandering around the carnival at night). And then 15 years later he gets out of jail to kill her and her sister. The woman and the boyfriend end up in a car that goes into a lake and then all insanity ensues, insanity for those who watch it. Seems that the woman can't figure out if she's dead or not. Guess what nobody gives a what.

Interesting tidbit: The boyfriend was a clown in the Carnival and therefore is automatically scary, yeah right. This fruit ball has a mean jab and carries balloons. And he says, "I didn't find you, you found me." When he finds the little girl at the beginning in the carnival, and pretty much every time they talk. You know what I can't think of anything else.

Who's to Blame? This one was all me. I saw a movie in the store called Carnival of Terror and then I saw this at Blockbuster and thought, "Was it Carnival of Souls I wanted to see?" So I rented it and felt the agony.

Cover: The Clown, Balloons, a carnival, Souls in the balloons…….

MOVIE TITLE: THE FEAR

Tagline: He’s whatever scares you the most

Imagine a group of students that want to do a study of fear in the woods in a friends cabin. Now imagine that the cabin has a cigar puppet named Morty that the kid played with when he was younger. Now imagine that Morty comes to life and kills the students by there worst fears. Sounds interesting right? Well let’s say someone’s worst fear is growing old, Morty looks at him or her and they turn old and die. Sound fun still? Well it’s not. O and there is some side story about someone going around raping women.

Interesting tidbit: You know this movie put me to sleep so umm hey I think Tony Todd was in it (The guy that plays Candyman). He was the token black guy, so you know what happened right. O yea Morty moves I think…. And Wes Craven is in it….

Who’s to blame? Once again it’s all my fault. I had a free rental to get so I picked this up real quick like.

Cover: Morty and he’s all splintery.

MOVIE TITLE: PINOCCHIO'S REVENGE

Tagline: Evil comes with strings attached

A toy maker is arrested for killing his son and burying him. He also buries his puppet. A mother, who I think is an attorney, forgets to give her daughter a birthday gift. So somehow Geppetto’s puppet (the toy maker is Geppeto I think if not he is now) ends up in her possession and the kid loves it but it’s not her toy. But she won’t take no for an answer and the killing begins but who is doing it? Is it the Psycho kid or the deranged puppet? Geppetto knows….

Interesting tidbit: The kid was crazy, or just stupid. But besides that watch the ending (why am I telling you to watch this flick?) where the girl morphs into the puppet and then back, that is all, o and the stupidity of the boyfriend and Pinocchio the peeping tom

Who’s to blame? OK it was me. I always wanted to see this and Rumpelstiltskin and after seeing this Mr. Skin might not be getting rented.

Cover: Pinocchio I think and the kid?

MOVIE TITLE: VENGEANCE OF THE DEAD

Tagline: The dead never forget…

Stupidity has reached new heights. A kid goes to visit his grandpa in his old town. Well while flying his plane he comes across a burnt down house. In the ashes lies a golden spoon. Well he takes it and puts it in his drawer well guess what the spoon decides it hates his underwear and goes back home after a pair of ghosts appear. So the intelligent man goes and gets the spoon from the rubble again. Yea I said he went and got the spoon again. Argh.. Well then he winds up possessed and killing old guys by fire, well first he burns a dead body then he kills old guys. But why? Because the dead need Vengeance…

Interesting tidbit: I am not going to lie to you. There are mad interesting tidbits…… This movie contains the famous bike-throwing scene where I almost cursed (I was like what the fu.arggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh). Also the wood masturbation… and the way they decided to show the nudity was dumb, that’s all I can say, wait for the review It’s gonna be wicked. Oh and the aging ghost and the zoot suit and what about the spoon? Does he know what common sense is?… Oh and Pimp has a bad commercial.

Who’s to blame? Kral. We saw the small package and we were baffled. How does the tape fit? He said it’s by Full Moon so it’s good. They made puppet master, but they made Blood Dolls too and I couldn’t watch that movie. So he picked this s&*t and I picked Python that wasn’t that great but this just all out sucked. Worse than COS.

Cover: A skull or a dead person and the little girl ghost. I can’t tell don’t remember and don’t care. But the VHS box is red and it looks too small to fit a movie in it.

MOVIE TITLE: CUT

Tagline: They just have to finish the film... before it finishes them

I admit this movie did not totally suck but i wanted to express my self again about it. A movie was made in Australia and it sucked. And it wasn’t finished because the killer went bonkers and murdered the director. Then he gets killed. Well years later the director’s daughter and her film class decide to finish the movie (even though it sux) even though it has a curse on it. That whoever watches the flick dies. Well the killer comes back and does some killing old school style. So it’s up to the cast to kill the killer before it’s too late. This wouldn’t be so bad if it was a comedy….

Interesting tidbit: OK two words Soldier Boy. Man this guy is like Afleck in Phantoms. He gets skewered and lives while other people die stupidly. O and how can I forget the sex scene lol? O and the light sabers

Who’s to blame? You know I can’t remember who’s Idea it was to watch this….

Cover: The killer and a filmstrip

MOVIE TITLE: BREEDERS

Tagline: I don’t know

Women are getting raped. They all have one thing in common they are all virgins. Lots of nudity occurs and it’s up to a doctor and a cop to try to stop the rapist. And the raped women leave the hospital.

Interesting tidbit: I saw parts of this on Sci-Fi and man was there a lot of nudity. I mean Sci-Fi had to do mad editing then they said forget it lets just blur it out. So they did. And there is a scene of a woman doing aerobics naked. I think she gets raped… Umm this movie is sick

Who’s to blame? My roommate Jase. I was sleep and he said “Hey they are showing naked women on sci-fi. I thought he was joking so I got up and said holy crap. Then we sat trough most of it but it just sucked so we turned and turned back to see the end.

Cover: I can’t even make it out….

MOVIE TITLE: WISHMASTER 3 BEYOND THE GATES OF HELL

Tagline:

The “Djinn” is “back” and “granting” “wishes” this tine on a college campus. A student awakes him. He kills people to get to the chick that let him free so she can make three wishes and set his army free on earth. Also an Archangel appears.

Interesting tidbit: The bike trip scene is good. And the Djinn is shiny…. And his human form is Sean Connery’s son.

Who’s to blame? Everyone that was there that day….

Cover: The djinns eyes and a pentagram

Well everyone it’s getting late and I can’t think of any more movies as of now. Soon I will try to do full reviews of these movies and much more but until then be excellent to each other and party on dudes…..

Perk

As you can tell I like horror movies. The sad thing is that since I wrote this in 01 I have seen movies that are possibly worse than anything on this list (Axe 'em). Who knows maybe one day I will start doing movie reviews again. Well that's all and until next time

"They call me Perk because it's a privilege to know me"

Perkins Out

----------------
Now playing: Talking Heads - Nothing But Flowers

I purchased my first bra today...

So I had to go buy a nursing bra for Erica because I said I would. I got two then went home. However I found out a few things.

1) Women look at a guy funny when he is in the bra section by himself

2) Apparently buying bras is not the way to impress a cashier

3) There is a difference in bra types.

I found the third thing out when I got home. Erica informed me that I did not purchase bras with underwire. So i had to return to the Target and repurchase new bras. So I took the old ones back and got a refund. I went back to the bra section and tried to find these elusive underwire bras. Here I learned a new thing.

4) Women really look at a guy funny who is in the bra section by himself, feeling bras for wires and with his pants unzipped.

Yea apparently my pants were unzipped :(. I wondered why the lady next to me looked at me all ghastly like and walked away briskly.

Well I then went to the checkout lane and came across my fifth lesson on the day.

5) The Broification of America has reached a new, drastic high.

The following is the actual conversation between me and the cashier.

CASHIER: " What's up bro?"
ME: " Nothing much really."
CASHIER: "Aww bro, that's a bra bro."
ME: " It's for my wife. I got conned into it."
CASHIER: "Awww, s**t bro, sorry bro. Hey Devin when do I get my break bro?"
ME: " I'll survive I think."
CASHIER: "That'll be 29.87 bro."
ME: " Here you go."
CASHIER: "Is this thirty bro?"
ME: " Nah, it's twenty-nine. And here is eighty-seven."
CASHIER: "Awwwww DAMN!! Bro! That's like perfect bro! Aww Bro!!! Like magical math magic Bro!!!"
ME: "I actually just returned the same thing so I just got something with the same
price."

CASHIER: " AWWWW bro. That's smart bro. Take care bro."
ME: " You do the same."

Now normally I am not one to comment on someones vocabulary, and my sister informed me that it's a good thing that he kept his vocabulary even though he was at work because of something linguistical, but the excessive use of bro was insane. This coupled with the kids at school using it in almost every sentence resulted in me hearing bro at least one hundred times in one day. Then I saw the brorape video (mildly offensive ). There is also the term Broner. The broification must stop.

Until next time

"A bra salesman is the best man for a woman to marry because he offers tons of support"

Perkins out
----------------
Now playing: Broken Wings - Mr. Mister
----------------
Now playing: Daaam! (Explicit) - finger eleven & Tha Alkaholiks

And once again I see things differently

----------------
Now playing: David Bowie - The Hearts Filthy Lesson

http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,22535838-5012895,00.html

That link is for those who can't see the following pic. You might have to click it.



I won't tell you why but notice the direction, and then look at the shadow and notice the direction again. I find it amazing but that's just me.

Speaking of amazing and stuff that baffles the mind: How many times do you have to explain to an adult something. I can't go inot details but it involves a student who told their parent something that wasn't true. The parent came to me, I told them what happened and they still kept asking about it. Then their child said it wasn't true, but still they pursued it. Sounds confusing but hey, what can you do.

Until next time

"It is better to have people think you are a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt" Twain I think

Perkins out

I guess you can call me Sir Mix a Lot

SO I was watching Californication the other night ( great show by the way) and during the episode David Duchovny's daughter gives her guitar teacher a mix tape....mix CD. Now this is supposed to indicate that she had a thing for him. Unfortunately he is too old and he kind of likes her soon to be step sister. So here is my issue, in eighties movies, and nineties movies and television the mix tape is supposed to be the desperate attempt to get someone to notice you/ realize that you have a crush on them. The problem? I have given out many a mix tape/ CD in my life. I mean I give them out left and right and never thought about the possible signal I may have been sending.

I can count at least fourteen mix tapes/ CDs that I have made and given to people just because I wanted people to hear the music that I like. That is because people usually hate my music. So I put together a mix of music that I dig and say " hey check this out". But apparently this gives off the idea that I am totally into the individual. I admit that there were a few that I did give out to people I was interested in at a time, but not always.

This does explain however why a few of the female friedns that I did give tapes/CDs too started acting kind of funny towards me. They thought I wasn trying to take our friendship to the next level. Well at least I learned a lesson, and another thing about how society sees the trading of music.

Until next time

You can't spell music without a vocabulary

Perkins out

O wait that's not a hamburger bun...

So I missed school today because me and Erica….I mean Erica and I, went to the hospital. The docs thought that Erica has not gained enough weight and therefore we needed to go to get a super ultrasound to check the babies…..I mean Madison’s weight. So we went and saw the ultrasound on a big screen. We saw her head, which is huge in the video, and her face, she looked at us. Also we saw her heart beating and the blood flowing though, it was all fantastic and whatnot. Oh and we saw her spine too, and something that looked like hamburger buns. The tech said she weighed in at 6 pounds and 4 ounces as of now and she should be born on Nov 9 ( her due date and my grandmothers birthday, and my cousins birthday, and a day after my best friends birthday, and four days after Erica’s birthday). So I remember reading that a baby gains a half of a pound a week and therefore by my calculations she could actuall be 8 pounds when she’s born. Give or take a pound. So we could have a nine pound baby. Erica doesn’t like the idea.

But here is my question. How do ultrasounds work I mean they are kind of infatuated because you can see though the baby but at the same time you can see the baby. It’s crazyyyy. I could wikipedia it but I think I’ll just let it sit as something I’ll find out one day when I’m not bored. Until next time

Don’t keep secrets because then you will have half secret half human babies.

Perkins out